So apparently depression doesn't get better the next day. It's a stupid word that's for sure. Today is my third day of not getting a shower. I should have taken our friend Kim's offer and let her come over so I got to shower but i just figured i would have able to take one by this evening I was wrong. I stink just so you know that. I got a dumb bill today I called they said I have seven days or we go to collections, no payments can be maid no discounts nothing. Yay us in this state they garnish your wages put Liens against your home and anything else you are buying or own, lovely right. It's so funny everyone always says call early interventions they will help you with your bills um no they do no such thing. Or medicaid always back pays um no they dont or every baby gets disability through social security no they dont, or what about your governor ya what about him he does nothing. There is not one program in this state we qualify for. I can't even begin to explain the stress I am under. You however are doing great today. You have a pile of happiness. Your smile oh your smile I can't begin to express the overwhelming sensation that takes over when I see you smile at me. Oh I love you and your sisters and I really hope we don't have to live in the street or in our truck or heck get our vehicle taken. I'm scared very scared. I'm not sure how much more I can take. I don't want to leave you or your sisters you are my reason for breathing but what good am I obviously I screw everything up because this is all so screwed up right now. We have been kicked to the curb and we don't matter to any one in the world. Hell we can't even get your dads parents to help with anything not a fundraiser not yard sale not a bill nothing. If my parents had the money believe me they would not hesitate to help in anyway they could craft fairs raffles bake sales anything. Now our town in which we don't know very many people have have got our local pizza place to help on a day where part of their sales they give back amazing these people don't even know me I can't wait to meet them and thank them. Well my sweet baby moon I'm going to close my eyes for a few hours so I can get up between 3 and 5 to shower and get ready for a news reporter to come hear our story. Maybe we can get some donations we got three so far. I love you my sweetness you are so perfect you are my hero.
I just watched your news story on line. My son has Trisomy 8q2. We had a rough first year but now he is a completely different kid. The love of my life. There are trisomy groups on facebook and Noahs neverending rainbow is a good one. Also UNIQUE online has rare genetic diseases and more info on them than anywhere else. Our blog is here http://ourjourneytoadoption.beckfamily143.com/
ReplyDeleteJust remember you are in charge. What you say goes. If you want something the doctors need to do it or you go to another one. Sometimes..no...often times doctors say our kids are going to die so they wont give them the basic care like oxygen or breathing treatments. Good luck to you. Be blessed
Ashlee