Another doctors opinion

Wow I don't know how much more I can take. Today we saw yet another doctor. This one wants to put in a feeding tube! So now we have three doctors that want to put you asleep and you are only three months old. One to do a cat scan, one to put tubes in your years, and now a feeding tube. I'm not ok with any of this! On our way home from the appt today I had to drive erratically and speed fifty miles an hour through a residential just to find a place to pull over because you quit breathing because you were vomiting profusely and with much blood. It went on for about five minutes. I literally peeled out and slid into an office buildings parking lot blocking the entire road. Tomorrow we leave at 645am to go to south lake for your swallow study and upper GI test. I'm tired I'm so tired. I have to take you to appts everyday literally every day, clean, cook, laundry, pay bills, find money to pay bills, take care of your sisters, all the animals, stay up all night because either you or your sisters are up crying through the night, all the while holding you because you need me so much and that's ok that you need me I love that you need me, I'm just tired and stressed out. I love you Annabeth I love your sisters and I love being a mommy. I just want it to get easier. Goodnight my Moon babies I'm going to try and get about an hour of sleep before I get up at 5am xoxoxo